The pain i feel is beyond words,
Why is only the selected are heard.
Day in and day out, arguing back and forth.
When it comes down the main point,  is really worth it.
I never say i wanted out of my life. but you make it seem
as if it would make me happy. I was actually talking about with my family,
forgive me If i asked for a helping hand,

Why is it so hard to understand people opinion,
when it same, all goes well and
 when its different  it all goes to hell.
I am not saying that your are the enemy.
I am trying to make what i say clear to you
Can you understand coming to you as a man.
Let you know how i feel about you.
Letting you know that u shouldnt assume.
I do go off when we argue
but i dont call u name, and i dont give out any strikes.
It bad enough wen we fight
over the little things and
right now i dont know what to do.
 In time, I guess my wound will mend.
Maybe then i will understand what you meant.
But for right now

Motivation-what it means for me

Motivation, what does it require ?

Going all out or an interest that you admire.

I would like to have some of that.

Doing things half-ass gets you no where .That's fact.

Life is such a journey but that's point.

Why should it end because of a broken joint.

Time will pass and the bone will mend.

The people who care about you, they will understand.

How much do they mean to me. Everything.

Life is priceless and it has so much meaning,

Gulping, belching and smoking all lead to dead ends.

If there's no one there, God will stand by you as a friend.

Motivation is guide to a long term goal.

If you stray from it, you may find yourself in a hole.

If you give up, stay but do not blame anyone.

Those bad influences tell you that this and that is fun.

Thinking about it and finding redemption.

Do it for yourself and not for the attention.

God is my friend, and The bible  is a guide.

You may think what i am doing isn't right.

That isn't for you to decide, you are not my judge.

Breaking bonds are hard, former friends develop a grudge.

Why is life like this, is motivation that hard to obtain.

I am consider the odd person, yet i haven't changed.

I don't like hurting others for personal gain.

I have to make the best of it while i am alive.

Having people who care around me, i realize.

Motivation was here along, I just got lost.

Instead of giving, it's better that I fought.

Fighting for myself and what I like to do.

I do what is right for me and others, not for you.

What goes on in my Head 10

As times goes by I wonder what will happen next ?
Why do people who have money think they're the best.
When trying to figure out a puzzle, all the pieces matter.
Without a doubt when life gets you down, you just shatter.
I feel like crap, even though i should be all right.
Problems sleeping and end up staying up all night.
I feel like i am at war with whats around me.
With myself, friends and my family.
I want to help myself and the kitty.
But sadly i don't know how.
God is here watching over me to see if I am OK.
Thanking him for me being here today.
Writing these passages put me at ease.
Reminds me when I was school trying really hard.
At first i didn't think about anything else except cards.
Well regretting the past doesn't help out much.
Getting through life, its not all about luck.
We need faith in ourselves and in the Lord.
Faith to be the sword, to free ourselves from the horde.
Even though to this day I pray,  what I have done to others
I can be forgiven.

Making videos is like art.
Labeling and editing all the different parts.
What drives me to make videos.
God, my friends, and family. 
They are my heroes.
 I want to do something with myself.
I am doing this to express myself and nothing else.
Is it all about me? No
But i do share what i know.
An act of selflessness proves my worth.
Not being greedy, allowing others to go first.
Being there for someone, who is there for me.
Tells me that you are reliable and friendly.
Who doesn't turn their back, when you need them.
Always a friend, from now till the end.
 Now i see the reason i make videos.
I feel better as person and not as a zero.

Troubled

I don't feel like me, whats going on?
Lost inside my head, turning away from what's important.
That's not good.
Good thinking is something I am having trouble doing.
Getting annoyed at myself that i am not capable of winning.
Everyone deserves a chance to do some good.
Saying to myself that I should.
Looking Deep within myself, I see a troubled man.
Fill with doubt and fear and unable to stand.
Will I be myself once again ?

Reality and the Fight

As each day passes by there is something to live for.
To be alive today, to be content and nothing more.
To have a home and family  is my goal.
Not to give it up and end up in some hole.
The message is clear that we live in fear.
Is it possible to stand? yes
With those who are far and near.
Given a chance to breathe each day.
Having the time to do this now, I pray.
Praying for a better tomorrow and friends to be there.
We can't always grumble and complain, "life is not fair."
The jobless and homeless are growing.
People pass by the signs with out even knowing.
Knowing that there is a God.
Knowing that he is hear.
Welcoming you with open arms and kindness in his eyes.
You can't get that from a person who consistently lies.
In the bible it says:
The Lord is my Shepard, I shall not want.
Be yourself and don't hide behind a front.
Don't want get a caught as phony.
In doing so, you will know what it means to be lonely.
It may be dark now, but soon the sun shines bright.
Ask yourself this, When is the right time to fight ?

Random Poem b4 wrk- Gotta Go

Sitting down at the table eating my lunch.
Washing it down with some Hawaiian punch.
Late to work, feeling really sick.
Rather be in bed watching some nick.
Doug, Rugrats, and Rocko's Modern Life.
Watching these distract me from knife.
Shows like this give me reason to laugh out loud.
Just being yourself is accomplishment, Be Proud.
Don't think less of anyone because of what they did.
We all did dumb stuff as little kids.
Why am i thinking back about all these things?
Looking down at the floor, they make me smile.
I even laugh to myself for a while.
Too bad now, I don't really laugh or talk.
Its cold outside, I have to man up and walk.
It's not anyone fault that I am like this.
These freaking headaches,  It's like I'm taking hits.
God,  I ask to please take this headache away.
For now I'm finished, Let this be a good day.